DrBillToth-Blog

Nominalizations – this last one is a little more subtle. words like “attention” “relationship” or “problem” “IT” are all used as nouns…..only they’re not a person place or thing (definition of a noun.) they’re processes which are frequently “Nominalized” ie they lose their specificity thereby leading to miscommunication.

So sometimes a prospect with prior experience in NetWork Marketing will say; “IT” didn’t work for me” to which one reply could be; “I appreciate your comments and how specifically did “IT” not work for you”? 99% of the time either the person simply didn’t treat “IT” like a business and allocate time and energy to build “IT”. In other words “IT” failed because they didn’t work but they’re unwilling to take responsibility so it’s much easier to nominalize and thereby disassociate themselves from the situation. Which sadly, ultimately places them in the “victim” role. Same applies to “attention”, or “relationship” or “problem”.

Again when using this tool coming from a loving place with a loving tone is key. Also it is best to use “I” statements like “I appreciate your comments and…or “I respect your comments and…” Never say “I understand” because until you’ve asked questions you have too little clarity.

The whole principle of the 5 part “Fluff Buster” communication tool is to communicate more effectively because often the same words mean different things to different people and at different times. If you would like a supper simple one page visual representation of the “Fluff Buster” tool that makes it super simple to remember and use > then email me at DrBillToth@gmail.com with “Fluff Buster” in the sbuject line.

Live With Intention,
Dr Bill

More from the precision model….affectionately referred to as the “fluff buster” tool. Again when using this tool coming from a loving place with a loving tone is key. Also it is best to use “I” statements like “I appreciate your comments and..” or “I respect your comments and…” Never say “I understand” because until you’ve asked questions you have too little clarity. The idea is to communicate more effectively because often the same words mean different things to different people and at different times…like the word “love”.

Part 4 Universals = All, Every, Never

Again here you want to get to specifics…..simply question the term All? Every ? Never? by repeating their statement followed by the questioning tonality All??? Every??? Never???

Example: ALL kids are ill mannered??? or “Your employees NEVER??? work?”

By doing so you induce a little doubt and open the person up to discovering for themselves the specific circumstances that relate to the situation. Only then can proper solutions be revealed and implemented.

Live with Intention,
Dr Bill

More from the precision model….affectionately referred to as the “fluff buster” tool. Again when using this tool coming from a loving place with a loving tone is key. Also it is best to use “I” statements like “I appreciate your comments and..” or “I respect your comments and…” Never say “I understand” because until you’ve asked questions you have too little clarity.

The idea is to communicate more effectively because often the same words mean different things to different people and at different times…like the word “love”.

Part 2: Frequently people will use phrases like; Should, shouldn’t must, can’t

The correct response is; What would happen if you did? Here you’re trying to determine a person’s decision process.

For Example: sometimes a prospect will say “I can’t afford IT” to which you might reply; “I appreciate your comment and I’m curious what would happen if you could?

Part 3: phrases like “It’s real bad” or “they say” the correct response is: Who or what specifically?

For example: sometimes we hear from a prospect: “they say” those “things” don’t work.” There are two levels of fluff here…The correct response would go something like – “I appreciate your comment and I’m curious WHO specifically said that to you.?” Many times it will be something like; “Well my uncle Fred knows somebody who tried X and IT didn’t work for him.” Once you get them off the gross generalization of the “they say” then you have something specific you can work with, a direction to go. Is Uncle Fred an “authority” on X? What do you mean by “tried”? Asking questions to determine accuracy and validity of the “they say” comments.

Now what you’re left with are the two nominalizations of “things” and “IT” and we’ll cover how to handle those tomorrow.

Live with Intention,
Dr Bill